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maybe we could, this time.

Sep26
maybe we could, this time.

maybe i thought it was you i saw through the window, and maybe it was. maybe you looked back at me, the way we used to do. maybe i wanted it to be. maybe my longing has lead me to believe that you were there. maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me. maybe, though, they weren’t. we’ve been apart for months. we might not recognize each other right away. we’ll come together again, eventually, won’t we? we have to. we will. could it have been you? could you have managed to be in the right place, simply at the wrong time? could you be waiting to see me, too? could it all have been worth it? this time i want to believe it. this time you and i could just talk. this time we could start all over again, except you’d be aware of the circumstances. this time, it’s going to be us. are we going to make it? maybe we could, this time.

beach bum

Apr12

ocean eyes and sandy hair

he’s the beach of people

and i don’t even like the beach

but i like him

i like him a lot

i think he’s special

and unique

i wish he’d take a break

from following his friends around

and explore the world on his own

you could get lost in those ocean eyes

and i would

we all need someone special

someone bright eyed and kindhearted

i had so hoped mine would be him

perhaps there’s still a chance

sequel to a daydream

Apr12

sequel to a daydream

that she had months ago

the storyline is different

the world is new and magical

more than she has ever wanted

she finds a new ideal

a little dream to keep her satisfied

for as long as she’s afraid

she could never say a thing

not one word to him

of course

this time she is not shaking

because this boy does make her nervous

but not like the one before

her poetry is somber

not full of utter glee

yet even though she wants to

she’d never let the feeling out

the seashells in his eyes

and the sandy beaches in his hair

she seems to think it’s worth it

and life won’t get in the way

but the sequel to this daydream

is happier and kind

the sort to make her feel things

no matter how hard she tries

avoidance is the safest

the route to keep the status quo

nothing makes her feel this way

and she wants to let him know

something i wish i could say

Apr12

this is for you, 23.

i don’t know why, but i like you.

i like your smile.

your eyes, the color of seashells.

i like the way you seem to always know what’s next.

you’re prepared for anything, i guess.

i like that you care.

i like something about you.

but i can’t figure out what it is.

so i guess i will wait and see.

because all i can think about is you, 23.

so much for a productive afternoon.

i wish i could tell you all of this.

but i can’t.

not yet.

not now.

i need a nap.

an early summer day

Apr12
i let myself get too attached and fell so hard for you
if only i had kept up my guard i wouldn’t feel so broken
just the pure stupidity of hearing another girl’s name
that makes me feel like nothing more than an afterthought
even if it means nothing to you and the context proves important
i wish i could just understand the way you see me from the outside
the perspective i need to get inside your head
i want to see your face and know that it’ll all be worth the while
for all i need and all i know is i feel so lost and alone today
the day i so looked forward to, out in the warm summer breeze
the summer that came three months early
the summer that could mean so much
for me, for you, for what it’s worth
i wish i could be with you

pain (physical)

Mar1
my ankle aches as any ankle would that has been twisted and hurt
i wish it would stop and let me live my life
let me write my essay and not cry over it
even though perhaps i would do that anyway
i think about how he walked behind me
and then in front of me
remembering how he was just then and there
because for the next four days that memory is all i have
and the pain in my foot that won’t go away
i dream of him and wonder why he makes me feel so nice
the world is my oyster and the pearl, his name is…
this isn’t a rhyming poem shhhh
give me a reason not to worry about my foot
give me a smile and a laugh
tell me everything gets better from here
and i’ll believe you

it’s you that made me this way

Feb28

do you think i expected to fall for you?
hold the door and somehow you’re mine?
of course,  i knew i liked your face
but how could i have predicted this?
the green sweater, the smile
you won me over so fast
for days i’ve thought only of you
distraction times one thousand
number twenty three and me
somehow it just seems right
i look in the mirror at my lovelorn eyes
and wonder how i became so smitten
it’s obvious, though
that all it took was you
it’s you that made me this way.

alive and well in hollywood

Dec8

the glitz and the glamour is doing just fine.
the worries of privacy echo throughout the walls,
hollywood’s greatest stars murmur and wail,
but the mystique still lives.
the mysterious personal lives and affairs
of those we’ll never know
the truth of the matter, is hollywood’s soul
was never about the glamour,
never about the glitz.
it was merely a ploy to trick the world
into believing that magic exists.
but the dust which they use
does not come from fairies
and it cannot make you fly.
its only true power is addiction and fear,
and all it can do is kill you.
but for now, as it seems,
the magic is alive and well in hollywood.

no

Sep28

no.
i won’t let myself be ruined by you
i won’t let what he did to me make me afraid
you are not him, you could never be
that is the greatest thing about you

no, it doesn’t feel okay.
but he isn’t mine and he never was
and i couldn’t imagine it any other way after all this time.
i love you and i love him
but there is no comparison to how.
he was my past and you are my future.
he makes me sad, you make me happy.

so, no, i am not happy.
but it’s not important how i feel when you are stressed.
you need space and i will give it.
and you will come back in time.

college boys

Sep7

college boys are less than special

they’re nothing like the working class

a boy will leave you,

hurt and alone

a man will love you

and call you darling

boys laugh

men compliment yours

boys exhaust themselves

trying to be something they’re not

men know there’s no other way

to make ends meet

but love,

love, my dears,

is the most grownup feeling

one can possess.

and college boys,

they’d give you less.